The Truth can hurt

Barbra Carlisle • June 13, 2023

Are you guilty, like me, of covering up, pushing down, masking, pretending that all is well in work? You know that things could be better but make excuses, blame yourself, blame others, blame the system. Anything but deal with the underlying issue head on. 

When you are leading your business and you recognise that something isn’t right you have the power to deal with it. You are the leader after all! However, depending on your personality type, your communication preferences and the person you are dealing with denial can appear easier than tackling the issue.


If the person you are having an issue with is a strategic partner, a co-founder, a senior hire whose role is critical to success it can feel easier to avoid the reality. This ultimately leads to miscommunication, frustration, stress and anxiety and built-up anger. It can affect your business in the short and potentially long term.


Being in denial happens when you are facing something really uncomfortable that you would prefer not to deal with. Denial is a defense mechanism that helps people cope with distressing or overwhelming situations by ignoring or rejecting the facts or consequences of the situation.


Why might you bury your head in the sand?


Personality

Some people have louder voices, less worried about what people think of them, assertive and from a combination of nature, nurture and choice enjoy problem solving, tackling problems head on. We are not all like that, especially when it comes to conflict with a cofounder, partner or senior leader as the stakes can feel high.


Consistency

People want to appear consistent with their beliefs, values, and self-image. They may deny anything that contradicts or challenges their existing views or identity. For example, a person who values honesty may deny that they are being lied to by someone


Bias.

People want to confirm their expectations and preferences. They may deny anything that goes against their wishes or desires.


Uncertainty.

People want to reduce their doubt and confusion. They may deny anything that is unclear, complex, or ambiguous.


Identity.

People want to protect their sense of self and belonging. They may deny anything that threatens their self-esteem or social status.


Ways to manage denial

Ultimately problems have to be faced and dealt with. 


  1. Think of a time when you have faced problems before, and how you came out of it. 
  2. Talk to someone you trust about what you are thinking and experiencing
  3. Work with a coach who can help you navigate how to manage difficult situations and come out feeling whole and motivated for the future.
  4. Face your fears and address the elephant in the room, it may be uncomfortable but you will feel empowered by having raised the issue
  5. Prioritise looking after yourself, in the way you eat, sleep and play. Make time to enjoy the things you can enjoy in the moment. 


Working on your communication will help you build a future for yourself and others that thrives.


Glee coaching provides a safe space for conversation, thought and formulation of actions to overcome barriers you are facing in work.


Connect with us on Linked In, Instagram or email barbra@gleecoaching.com. We are always happy to have a no obligation call with you to explore what would best meet your needs.

Leading Change: How to Navigate Transformation with Confidence and Clarity

By Barbra Carlisle • July 22, 2025
There is no getting away from it we need to be agile and lead through change - it is constant!

Leadership vs. Management: Understanding the Difference to Unlock Your True Potential

By Barbra Carlisle • July 22, 2025
Newsflash - Leading is not Managing! Why the Distinction Matters For years, many professionals, myself included, assumed that leadership and management were one and the same. After all, both involve guiding people and achieving goals. But in today’s dynamic and complex business environment, understanding the difference between leadership and management is essential. At Glee Coaching, we help individuals and organisations harness the power of both disciplines to drive performance, engagement, and long-term success. What Is Leadership? Leadership is about vision, influence, and transformation. It’s the ability to inspire others, create a compelling future, and guide people toward shared goals even in the face of uncertainty. As John C. Maxwell famously said, “Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less.” Leaders focus on: Setting direction rather than controlling outcomes Inspiring trust rather than demanding compliance Fostering innovation rather than maintaining the status quo Research from Harvard Business Review highlights that the best leaders are those who can move beyond titles and focus on action engaging in behaviours that inspire, align, and mobilise others. These leaders are not just visionaries; they are catalysts for change. What Is Management? Management, on the other hand, is about structure, execution, and consistency. It ensures that systems run smoothly, resources are used efficiently, and objectives are met on time and within budget. Peter Drucker, the father of modern management, once said: “Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” Managers excel at: Planning and organising Monitoring performance Solving problems and mitigating risks Gallup showed that managers are the single biggest factor in employee engagement, accounting for up to 70% of the variance in team engagement levels. This means that effective management isn’t just operational it is foundational to team morale and productivity. Leadership vs. Management: A Strategic Balance Rather than viewing leadership and management as opposing forces, I tend to think of them as complementary disciplines. The most effective professionals know when to lead and when to manage. A helpful rule of thumb I use is that Leaders should be 80% strategic and 20% tactical while Managers should be 80% tactical and 20% strategic. This balance is echoed in a 15-year study by HBR contributor James R. Bailey, who found that the most successful executives blend both leadership and management behaviours adapting fluidly to the needs of their teams and organisations. Issues that my coaching clients bring tend to be around the perceived need of leaders to sit in the transactional tactical doer space. Why You Need Both in Today’s Workplace In a world of hybrid teams, rapid innovation, and constant change, organisations need people who can: Lead with purpose and authenticity Build high-performing, collaborative teams Manage complexity with confidence and agility Gallup’s global engagement data shows that when managers are disengaged, team performance suffers dramatically. Conversely, when leaders are purpose-driven and aligned with their values, they inspire greater commitment and resilience across the organisation. If you're curious about how coaching can support this development, explore our What Is Coaching page . How Glee Coaching Can Help At Glee Coaching, we offer tailored leadership and management development programmes that help you: Discover your authentic leadership style Strengthen your management toolkit Navigate the transition from manager to leader (or vice versa) Build confidence, clarity, and capability Whether you're stepping into your first leadership role or refining your executive presence, we are here to support your journey. Call to Action Ready to explore your leadership potential or refine your management style? 👉 Visit our programmes to discover programmes designed for impact or call Barbra