Leadership Overwhelm

Barbra Carlisle • June 8, 2023

The unspoken


It is right and fair that business leaders look after the people they hire….but who looks after the leaders?

Business leaders, and particularly those in small and growing businesses often feel overwhelmed because they’re used to putting business first and themselves last.

Where leaders are part of a partnership, have shareholders, or team members to think about, stress and overwhelm can be hard to manage at times.


What is overwhelm?


To be overwhelmed is to be buried or drowning beneath a huge mass of something. It can mean to defeat completely. Like a strong wave on a beach, you may not see it coming, or else you see it coming but stand still in its wake and become overwhelmed, thinking at first that you can stand your ground. Or you may have your back to the wave and not notice it advancing towards you.

However leaders become overwhelmed, and with what, it tends to be something many leaders don't like to admit to, and many plough on till on the brink of burnout before they seek support.


In setting up Glee last year I experienced overwhelm. I only had myself to manage and I was in control of the pace of developing my business - there was just so much to do, and I wasn't an expert in business start ups. I reflected on a 2019 HBR article to think about overwhelm as well as draw on coaching myself and talked to others to overload.


Common reasons why leaders experience overwhelm


As the name suggest, you are a business owner, a business leader, an executive. You are expected to carry the can, be the figure head, know how stuff works, and be the one driving the business to success. And you are. It is just sometimes not that easy to do.

Reasons why leaders become overwhelmed include:


  1.  Trying to be everything to everyone (inside and outside work)
  2. Trying to focus on too many things at once
  3. Being too optimistic about how much time it takes to do a task
  4. Always saying ‘yes’, including to non essential tasks
  5. Adding too many appointments and projects to their weekly calendar
  6. Not fully trusting the people around you so carrying the burden on yourself


 Ways to manage overwhelm


  1. Think about what you love doing, what you enjoy doing and what you have to do to move your company forward. Simply becoming aware of this can help you see the bigger picture and help you reframe what you need to do to help yourself feel less overwhelmed
  2. Map out your projects and tasks and prioritise – and keep checking back to see if you are working on the prioritised items not just the items you ‘enjoy’.
  3. Map out your day and week to get structure.
  4. Focus on one task at a time.
  5. Take time out daily to think about how you are sitting, what is your body posture telling you? How are you breathing? If you are feeling tense, walk away and take a breather.
  6. If you do have people around you who can help you, let them help! This could include delegating (but avoid micromanaging because this can be as stressful as overwhelm)
  7. Celebrate and give gratitude to what you are achieving on a daily basis not just what you haven’t achieved. And recognize and give gratitude to yourself for delegating
  8. Talk about how you are feeling. Talk to your loved ones, a trusted friend or a coach who can provide the space, listen without judgement and help you navigate what would work for you


Don't get caught up in thinking that you have to action all of the points above as this will simply add to you feeling overwhelmed!


A word about delegation


It is in your gift if you have people working for you, or if you are in a partnership. You can share the workload. You win no prizes for doing all the work yourself. The skill is in identifying what you love doing and do that, and surround yourself with people who can help who love doing the things you don't get any energy from.


When delegating one way to avoid stress and slipping back into overwhelm is not to fall into the trap of micro-managing.


Ways to delegate without slipping into micro managing tendencies


  1. Choose the right person for the job. This requires you to know your team and their strengths (and job roles!)
  2. Talk to them about the issue you have and explain what you need from them
  3. Provide guidance, and clarify their understanding of the requirement of them
  4. Provide resources and training when necessary.
  5. Confirm at time of delegating standards expected and timeline for delivery and how you intend to check in with them on how the work is going
  6. Follow up as agreed and verbalise your thanks on the progress made 


Coaching and Peer Support


We over 121 coaching and peer group support for busy leaders who are experiencing overwhelm and stress. Get in touch with Barbra@gleecoaching.com to explore how coaching can support your business and personal health and wellbeing.


Follow me on Linked In for more insight on leading with impact and purpose

Finding your way as a leader

By Barbra Carlisle • June 13, 2025
When I first stepped into a leadership role, I did what many of us do, I mirrored the leadership styles I had seen in action as a young professional. I had seen Cathy Garner at the Housing Corporation back in the mid 90s invite me to a senior level meeting and me to reply "Why Cathy I don't have anything useful to say" and her saying "Barbra it is about being in the room. Come, it will not be a waste of your time". Brilliant advice. I also sub consciously took in the directive leaders, the nice to face not quite so nice behind your back leaders and began to learn that leadership means different things to different people. I also experienced leaders who manipulated and coerced me into positions that were simply not comfortable for a young female professional. What I came to learn that I had to be naturally me as a leader. Yes I over share, yes I make light of things, yes I am a glass half full person. I worked on recognising when that style didn't bring the best out of the people around me and I flexed my style. Uncomfortable but definitely rewarding. We all have it in our gift to ask "what kind of leader do I actually want to be?" In today’s leadership landscape, especially in the charity and non-profit sector, authenticity isn’t just a nice-to-have — it’s essential. According to recent research from CIPD, only 26% of L&D leaders feel their organisations are truly receptive to their ideas. That disconnect often stems from leaders not feeling confident in their own voice, or unsure how to bring their full selves to the table. Or bringing their full selves without filters and being told they are too loud, too this or too that. Why your leadership style matters Your leadership style shapes how people experience you — and how they experience their work. When you lead in a way that aligns with your values and personality, you create psychological safety, trust, and clarity. When you lead in a way that feels performative or borrowed, it can create confusion or even mistrust. When you lead without any consideration of what it is like to be on the other side of you I am sorry to say you will fail. Because not everyone will work well with the natural you. At Glee Coaching, I often work with new CEOs and senior leaders who are still figuring out what kind of leader they want to be. Some are navigating imposter syndrome. Others are trying to balance being approachable with being strategic. The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all model. But there is a way to lead that feels like you — and that’s where the real impact happens. How to start finding your style Observe, but don’t copy. Learn from others, but filter it through your own values and strengths. Ask for feedback. Not just on performance, but on how people experience your leadership. Try tools that build self-awareness. Programmes like Discover Your Leadership Voice (which I run monthly) help leaders understand their natural communication style and how to adapt it to others. Reflect regularly. What’s working? What feels forced? What energises you? Leadership isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room. It’s about being the clearest, most consistent version of yourself — and helping others do the same. Get in touch if you want to chat about how you can find your own style of leadership that works for you and those around you.

Humility in Leadership

By Barbra Carlisle • June 13, 2025
“I learnt a lot by going in and making the cups of tea, and hoovering up for them.” That quote came from Alan Adams, General Manager of Southport Flower Show and a guest on my podcast *The Unlikely Executive*. It stuck with me, not because it was about tea or hoovers ( though I do like the former, the latter less so), but because it captured something about a certain type of leadership: the insight that comes from experiencing all aspects of the organisation. I believe this links to leader empathy. In the charity sector, I have met three broad types of leaders 1. those who have 'worked' their way up 2. those who have pivoted from private to third sector and entered at a senior level (more about them in a later newsletter article) 3. those who have almost been pushed into leadership through personal circumstance (for example those who set up charities on the back of a personal trauma - again I will post about this at a later date) Today I want to focus on those who have worked their way up. They’ve been on the frontlines, run community events, answered helpline calls. That experience gives them a deep understanding of the people they serve and the teams they lead. But what if you didn’t start there? What if you came into leadership from another sector, or stepped into a senior role early in your career? Does that mean you’re missing something? Not necessarily. But it does mean you need to be intentional about how you connect with the frontline. Why it matters Leaders who understand the day-to-day realities of their teams make better decisions. They build more trust. They’re more likely to spot issues early and respond with empathy. In a recent People Management report, 41% of UK businesses now see learning and development as central to their strategy. That includes developing leaders who can connect across levels — not just manage from the top. How to build that connection (even if you didn’t start at the bottom) Spend time with your team. Not just in meetings, but in their world. Sit in on calls. Visit service sites. Ask questions. Listen without fixing. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is listen without jumping in with a solution. Be curious, not performative. People can tell when you’re ticking a box. Show genuine interest in their work and challenges. Share your own learning curve. Vulnerability builds trust. If you’re learning, say so. - my own personal favourite - have a work experience week - where you do a role that you have never tried before and take advice and guidance from the current postholder. At Glee, I work with leaders who want to lead with more empathy and impact — whether they started on the frontlines or not. What matters most is your willingness to understand, adapt, and grow. Because leadership isn’t about where you started. It’s about how you show up now.
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