The secret sauce: Influence
Barbra Carlisle • July 9, 2025
The subtle art of influencing to build your leadership impact
As a leader you know you have influence, you know that people will listen to you, and in all likelihood do as you suggest. It is how you utilise your influence that will determine what type of leadership impact you have on those around you.
Whether you’re trying to shift culture, win support for a new idea, or champion inclusion influence is a key leadership skill. But for many, it’s a tricky balancing act.
How do you make change happen without coming across as forceful or aggressive? How do you influence people who don’t think like you, especially when what’s at stake really matters?
Here’s where skill, self-awareness, and empathy come together.
Influence does not equal Aggression
Let’s start by busting a myth: being assertive isn’t the same as being aggressive.
Assertive leaders speak up for what matters, clearly and calmly, without bull dozing others.
Aggressive leaders push their agenda regardless.
The difference? Assertive leaders stay connected to their values and to the relationship.
You can be clear and firm about your point and hold space for difference. That’s real influence.
Three Skills That Build Influence
Curiosity over convincing
Don’t assume you have to launch into persuasion. Start by listening. Ask what matters to the other person. Influence flows more easily when people feel heard. Maintaining silence and letting the other person express themselves is a form of influence. Try it some time.
Speak from shared values
Especially when trying to bring people on board with new or uncomfortable ideas (like improving equity or supporting underrepresented groups), connect your message to values they already care about like fairness, excellence, community.
Especially when trying to bring people on board with new or uncomfortable ideas (like improving equity or supporting underrepresented groups), connect your message to values they already care about like fairness, excellence, community.
Use stories, not just facts
Data matters. But stories stick. A personal story whether that is your own or someone else’s can shift perspectives more than spreadsheets ever will.
Influencing People Who Aren’t Like You
We all have unconscious preferences for people who think like us. But change rarely happens in echo chambers.
When you need to connect with someone whose background, identity, or worldview is different from yours:
- Start with respect, not assumptions.
- Avoid jargon or insider language.
- Focus on what matters to them, not just what matters to you.
- Be open to mutual influence, you might change too.
A Small Shift, A Big Impact
Influence isn’t about charisma. It’s about connection.
Next time you're tempted to “win them over,” pause. Instead, ask yourself:
“How can I help them feel seen, heard, and part of this?”
That’s the influence that sticks and the kind that shapes cultures for the better.
One of the names I thought about using for my podcast related to legacy- but on reflection I knew that people would be uncomfortable thinking that they were leaving a legacy. Sounds so grand. But we do leave a legacy, which we create and add to every day. When we hear the word “legacy,” our minds often drift to grand, long-term achievements, think buildings named after someone, organisations reshaped, or books written. But in truth, your legacy isn’t something you build one day in the future. You’re creating it now. In every meeting, every decision, and every conversation. Yet many leaders struggle to recognise that they’re already leaving a mark, whether they mean to or not. Why Do Leaders Struggle With Legacy? Partly, it’s to do with your mindset. We are wired to focus on outcomes, targets, and the next milestone. We don’t stop to think about how we get there, or who we bring with us. There’s also humility at play. You may be thinking "Legacy? That’s not for me. I’m just trying to get through the day without cheesing too many people off." But legacy isn’t about ego. It’s about impact. The energy you bring to the room. The way you treat people when they’re not in the room. The values you quietly reinforce by what you praise, tolerate, or ignore. Everyday Marks of an Effective Leader A legacy-minded leader isn’t one who waits to be remembered. They act with intention now. That might look like: Modelling integrity even when no one’s watching. Championing the quiet voices that others overlook. Creating psychological safety that allows others to thrive. Investing in people even when it feels quicker to just “do it yourself.” Leading with empathy, especially under pressure. Contributing to societal wellbeing through your actions in work, at home, and in your community. These things often don’t make it onto the project plan. But they shape culture. They influence people’s confidence and courage. And they last far longer than a quarterly result. A Gentle Prompt Take a moment this week to ask yourself: “If someone were to describe my leadership five years from now, what would I hope they say?” Now bring that intention into the way you lead today. You’re already building your legacy one conversation at a time.
Introduction In today’s fast-paced, always-on work culture, leaders often find themselves consumed by operational demands, exciting things like emails, meetings, staff check ins, and the mountain of prepping and paperwork. But to lead well we need to redefine what we mean by our day to day priorities, and we need to manage our time. As a leader you need to be a step ahead, thinking of the future, whether that comes naturally to you are not. Strategic thinking is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. Why Strategic Thinking Matters Strategic thinking enables you to: Anticipate change and position you organisation for long-term success. Align teams around a shared vision. Innovate rather than merely optimise. Feel personally motivated and in control Recognise the value of delegation, which in turn supports the development of others The National Audit Office (NAO) highlights that while operational delivery is essential, senior leaders must adopt a “whole-system” approach that aligns policy, funding, and governance with long-term outcomes. I agree wholeheartedly with them! Beyond Time Management: Creating Strategic Space This isn’t just about blocking out time in your calendar., calling it focus time and then using that time to allow another meeting before the week is out. It’s about creating mental and organisational space for strategic reflection. Here’s how: 1. Delegate with Purpose Empower your team to own operational responsibilities. This builds capability and frees you to focus on the bigger picture. 2. Design Strategic Rituals Step back and ask: “What can I do as a leader that no one else can?” . Ask yourself "!what should I start doing, stop doing and continue to do". Weekly reflection sessions, quarterly off-sites, or even walking meetings can foster strategic clarity. 3. Build a Thinking Culture Encourage your team to think strategically too. When everyone is aligned on long-term goals, operational decisions naturally support strategic intent. It then becomes the norm to have time blocked out for thinking - time where you are not disturbed. 4. Use Strategic Frameworks Tools like SWOT, PESTLE, or scenario planning aren’t just for consultants. Use them regularly to challenge assumptions and explore new directions. Do it alone and with your team. This will create a culture of strategic thinking. 5. Get a Leadership Coach I would say this as a Leadership Coach but honestly getting a coach could be the single most important thing you do to unlock your thinking. With a Coach you talk things through, business and personal, freeing up time outside coaching sessions and not being consumed with things on your mind that you have not been able to share with anyone. Lots of my clients say to me " You are the only person I can speak to about this, I haven't told anyone, not even my partner about how I feeling about my role and life" And finally Strategic thinking isn’t a task it’s a mindset. Leaders who prioritise it not only future-proof their organisations but also inspire those around them to think bigger and bolder. Get in touch if you want to know more about developing a strategic thinking mindset
