New Leaders Listen Up
Barbra Carlisle • March 5, 2025
New to Leadership - Here is what no one tells you... until now
You stepped into a new role—congratulations!
But if you’re anything like most new leaders, at some point, you’ve probably had that sinking feeling…
“Am I ready for this?”
“What if I mess up?”
“What have I done—get me out of here!”
You’re not alone.
The reality is, stepping into leadership can feel like being thrown in at the deep end—expected to make big decisions, manage complex dynamics, and lead with confidence, all while trying to prove yourself.
But here’s the truth: You don’t have to have everything figured out on day one.
The Hidden Challenges of Being a New Leader
Every great leader has been exactly where you are. And while people might not talk about it openly, the first months in a leadership role are often a mix of excitement, uncertainty, and self-doubt.
The weight of decision-making feels heavier than expected. It’s one thing to have ideas—it’s another to make the final call.
You suddenly feel like you should have all the answers. But the reality? The best leaders ask great questions, not just give great answers.
You worry about being “found out.” Imposter syndrome is real—research from KPMG found that 75% of executives have experienced it at some point in their careers.
You’re managing people who might know more than you. And that can be intimidating, especially if you’re leading former peers or experienced team members.
For different leadership personalities, the struggles show up in different ways:
• The Guardian
in us worries about making the wrong call and disrupting stability.
• The Creative
in us has big ideas but struggles with the reality of execution.
• The Connector
in us focuses on relationships but might hesitate to set boundaries.
• The Nurturer
in us wants to support everyone but may avoid difficult conversations.
• The Pioneer
in us pushes forward but risks leaving the team behind.
What the Research Says: Leadership Takes Time
Confidence isn’t instant—it’s built over time. A study from Harvard Business Review found that leaders who focus on small wins each week build confidence and resilience faster than those who expect immediate success.
Most new leaders struggle with imposter syndrome.
A survey by the International Coaching Federation found that over 70% of new managers experience self-doubt in their first year.
Clarity comes with experience. Research from McKinsey shows that leaders who actively seek feedback and coaching in their first 6–12 months adapt faster and make better long-term decisions.
So, How Do You Lead with Confidence (Even When You Feel Unsure)?
1. Accept That You Don’t Have to Know Everything
Your job isn’t to have all the answers—it’s to ask the right questions, listen well, and make thoughtful decisions.
Try this: Instead of pressuring yourself to “know it all,” start each day by asking:
- What’s one thing I can learn today?
- Who can I ask for insight or advice?
2. Build Relationships, Not Just Authority
Your influence as a leader comes not from your title but from trust. Spend time getting to know your team, their challenges, and what they need to thrive.
Try this: Set up 1:1 check-ins with key team members—not just to talk work, but to understand their motivations and perspectives.
A Gallup study found that leaders who build strong relationships with their teams see 50% higher engagement and performance.
3. Set Boundaries Early
New leaders often fall into the trap of trying to do everything—which leads to burnout. Boundaries are key to sustainable leadership.
Try this:
- Be clear about working hours (for yourself and your team).
- Prioritise ruthlessly—not every issue is your issue.
- Practice saying no with confidence.
Research from Stanford found that leaders who set clear boundaries experience 35% lower stress and make better long-term decisions.
4. Seek Out Feedback—But Don’t Take It Personally
Feedback isn’t a sign you’re failing—it’s a tool for growth. Great leaders actively seek it, but they don’t let criticism shake their confidence.
Try this: Ask your team, “What’s one thing I could do better as your leader?” and listen with curiosity, not defensiveness.
A study in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that leaders who regularly ask for feedback improve their effectiveness by 22% within the first year.
5. Play the Long Game—Leadership Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
You don’t need to have it all figured out today. Focus on consistent, small improvements rather than overnight success.
Try this: End each week with a reflection: What’s one thing I learned? What’s one thing I want to improve next week?
Research from MIT Sloan found that leaders who engage in weekly reflection are 25% more effective in decision-making and team leadership.
Final Thought: You’ve Got This
It’s okay to feel unsure. Every leader starts somewhere. What matters isn’t perfection—it’s your willingness to learn, adapt, and lead with intention.
So, if you’re in the early stages of leadership, or supporting someone who is, remember:
✔️ You don’t have to be perfect to be effective.
✔️ Your team values authenticity more than authority.
✔️ The best leaders grow into their roles—one step at a time.
What’s one thing you’ll focus on this week to step into leadership with confidence?
When I first stepped into a leadership role, I did what many of us do, I mirrored the leadership styles I had seen in action as a young professional. I had seen Cathy Garner at the Housing Corporation back in the mid 90s invite me to a senior level meeting and me to reply "Why Cathy I don't have anything useful to say" and her saying "Barbra it is about being in the room. Come, it will not be a waste of your time". Brilliant advice. I also sub consciously took in the directive leaders, the nice to face not quite so nice behind your back leaders and began to learn that leadership means different things to different people. I also experienced leaders who manipulated and coerced me into positions that were simply not comfortable for a young female professional. What I came to learn that I had to be naturally me as a leader. Yes I over share, yes I make light of things, yes I am a glass half full person. I worked on recognising when that style didn't bring the best out of the people around me and I flexed my style. Uncomfortable but definitely rewarding. We all have it in our gift to ask "what kind of leader do I actually want to be?" In today’s leadership landscape, especially in the charity and non-profit sector, authenticity isn’t just a nice-to-have — it’s essential. According to recent research from CIPD, only 26% of L&D leaders feel their organisations are truly receptive to their ideas. That disconnect often stems from leaders not feeling confident in their own voice, or unsure how to bring their full selves to the table. Or bringing their full selves without filters and being told they are too loud, too this or too that. Why your leadership style matters Your leadership style shapes how people experience you — and how they experience their work. When you lead in a way that aligns with your values and personality, you create psychological safety, trust, and clarity. When you lead in a way that feels performative or borrowed, it can create confusion or even mistrust. When you lead without any consideration of what it is like to be on the other side of you I am sorry to say you will fail. Because not everyone will work well with the natural you. At Glee Coaching, I often work with new CEOs and senior leaders who are still figuring out what kind of leader they want to be. Some are navigating imposter syndrome. Others are trying to balance being approachable with being strategic. The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all model. But there is a way to lead that feels like you — and that’s where the real impact happens. How to start finding your style Observe, but don’t copy. Learn from others, but filter it through your own values and strengths. Ask for feedback. Not just on performance, but on how people experience your leadership. Try tools that build self-awareness. Programmes like Discover Your Leadership Voice (which I run monthly) help leaders understand their natural communication style and how to adapt it to others. Reflect regularly. What’s working? What feels forced? What energises you? Leadership isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room. It’s about being the clearest, most consistent version of yourself — and helping others do the same. Get in touch if you want to chat about how you can find your own style of leadership that works for you and those around you.
“I learnt a lot by going in and making the cups of tea, and hoovering up for them.” That quote came from Alan Adams, General Manager of Southport Flower Show and a guest on my podcast *The Unlikely Executive*. It stuck with me, not because it was about tea or hoovers ( though I do like the former, the latter less so), but because it captured something about a certain type of leadership: the insight that comes from experiencing all aspects of the organisation. I believe this links to leader empathy. In the charity sector, I have met three broad types of leaders 1. those who have 'worked' their way up 2. those who have pivoted from private to third sector and entered at a senior level (more about them in a later newsletter article) 3. those who have almost been pushed into leadership through personal circumstance (for example those who set up charities on the back of a personal trauma - again I will post about this at a later date) Today I want to focus on those who have worked their way up. They’ve been on the frontlines, run community events, answered helpline calls. That experience gives them a deep understanding of the people they serve and the teams they lead. But what if you didn’t start there? What if you came into leadership from another sector, or stepped into a senior role early in your career? Does that mean you’re missing something? Not necessarily. But it does mean you need to be intentional about how you connect with the frontline. Why it matters Leaders who understand the day-to-day realities of their teams make better decisions. They build more trust. They’re more likely to spot issues early and respond with empathy. In a recent People Management report, 41% of UK businesses now see learning and development as central to their strategy. That includes developing leaders who can connect across levels — not just manage from the top. How to build that connection (even if you didn’t start at the bottom) Spend time with your team. Not just in meetings, but in their world. Sit in on calls. Visit service sites. Ask questions. Listen without fixing. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is listen without jumping in with a solution. Be curious, not performative. People can tell when you’re ticking a box. Show genuine interest in their work and challenges. Share your own learning curve. Vulnerability builds trust. If you’re learning, say so. - my own personal favourite - have a work experience week - where you do a role that you have never tried before and take advice and guidance from the current postholder. At Glee, I work with leaders who want to lead with more empathy and impact — whether they started on the frontlines or not. What matters most is your willingness to understand, adapt, and grow. Because leadership isn’t about where you started. It’s about how you show up now.
