New Leaders Listen Up
Barbra Carlisle • March 5, 2025
New to Leadership - Here is what no one tells you... until now
You stepped into a new role—congratulations!
But if you’re anything like most new leaders, at some point, you’ve probably had that sinking feeling…
“Am I ready for this?”
“What if I mess up?”
“What have I done—get me out of here!”
You’re not alone.
The reality is, stepping into leadership can feel like being thrown in at the deep end—expected to make big decisions, manage complex dynamics, and lead with confidence, all while trying to prove yourself.
But here’s the truth: You don’t have to have everything figured out on day one.
The Hidden Challenges of Being a New Leader
Every great leader has been exactly where you are. And while people might not talk about it openly, the first months in a leadership role are often a mix of excitement, uncertainty, and self-doubt.
The weight of decision-making feels heavier than expected. It’s one thing to have ideas—it’s another to make the final call.
You suddenly feel like you should have all the answers. But the reality? The best leaders ask great questions, not just give great answers.
You worry about being “found out.” Imposter syndrome is real—research from KPMG found that 75% of executives have experienced it at some point in their careers.
You’re managing people who might know more than you. And that can be intimidating, especially if you’re leading former peers or experienced team members.
For different leadership personalities, the struggles show up in different ways:
• The Guardian
in us worries about making the wrong call and disrupting stability.
• The Creative
in us has big ideas but struggles with the reality of execution.
• The Connector
in us focuses on relationships but might hesitate to set boundaries.
• The Nurturer
in us wants to support everyone but may avoid difficult conversations.
• The Pioneer
in us pushes forward but risks leaving the team behind.
What the Research Says: Leadership Takes Time
Confidence isn’t instant—it’s built over time. A study from Harvard Business Review found that leaders who focus on small wins each week build confidence and resilience faster than those who expect immediate success.
Most new leaders struggle with imposter syndrome.
A survey by the International Coaching Federation found that over 70% of new managers experience self-doubt in their first year.
Clarity comes with experience. Research from McKinsey shows that leaders who actively seek feedback and coaching in their first 6–12 months adapt faster and make better long-term decisions.
So, How Do You Lead with Confidence (Even When You Feel Unsure)?
1. Accept That You Don’t Have to Know Everything
Your job isn’t to have all the answers—it’s to ask the right questions, listen well, and make thoughtful decisions.
Try this: Instead of pressuring yourself to “know it all,” start each day by asking:
- What’s one thing I can learn today?
- Who can I ask for insight or advice?
2. Build Relationships, Not Just Authority
Your influence as a leader comes not from your title but from trust. Spend time getting to know your team, their challenges, and what they need to thrive.
Try this: Set up 1:1 check-ins with key team members—not just to talk work, but to understand their motivations and perspectives.
A Gallup study found that leaders who build strong relationships with their teams see 50% higher engagement and performance.
3. Set Boundaries Early
New leaders often fall into the trap of trying to do everything—which leads to burnout. Boundaries are key to sustainable leadership.
Try this:
- Be clear about working hours (for yourself and your team).
- Prioritise ruthlessly—not every issue is your issue.
- Practice saying no with confidence.
Research from Stanford found that leaders who set clear boundaries experience 35% lower stress and make better long-term decisions.
4. Seek Out Feedback—But Don’t Take It Personally
Feedback isn’t a sign you’re failing—it’s a tool for growth. Great leaders actively seek it, but they don’t let criticism shake their confidence.
Try this: Ask your team, “What’s one thing I could do better as your leader?” and listen with curiosity, not defensiveness.
A study in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that leaders who regularly ask for feedback improve their effectiveness by 22% within the first year.
5. Play the Long Game—Leadership Is a Marathon, Not a Sprint
You don’t need to have it all figured out today. Focus on consistent, small improvements rather than overnight success.
Try this: End each week with a reflection: What’s one thing I learned? What’s one thing I want to improve next week?
Research from MIT Sloan found that leaders who engage in weekly reflection are 25% more effective in decision-making and team leadership.
Final Thought: You’ve Got This
It’s okay to feel unsure. Every leader starts somewhere. What matters isn’t perfection—it’s your willingness to learn, adapt, and lead with intention.
So, if you’re in the early stages of leadership, or supporting someone who is, remember:
✔️ You don’t have to be perfect to be effective.
✔️ Your team values authenticity more than authority.
✔️ The best leaders grow into their roles—one step at a time.
What’s one thing you’ll focus on this week to step into leadership with confidence?
Ideas and thoughts on how to lead well through complexity and change
How leaders can manage redundancies well
Senior leadership comes with an unspoken contract. Be decisive but do not intimidate people. Be confident but do not dominate the room. Be passionate but tone it down. Be resilient but do not show strain. One senior leader described it like this: “People want you to be assertive but not assertive. Strong but weak. Passionate but not showing too much passion.” If that sounds contradictory, it is. And yet this is what many experienced leaders carry every day, quietly. When experience does not equal belonging In a recent conversation with a Technical Director who has spent over 20 years in a male‑dominated industry, one question stayed with me: “When do I get to belong?” This was not said from a place of insecurity or inexperience. This was someone who: - leads large, complex programmes - manages global teams - has built capability from the ground up - is objectively successful And still feels the need to prove herself again and again. That constant internal checking, am I being too much, am I not enough, is exhausting. Not because leaders cannot handle pressure. Because the rules keep shifting. The pressure nobody notices Many senior leaders normalise the strain. They tell themselves: - this is just the job - others have it worse - I can push a bit longer Until the body intervenes. One moment shared was stark. Working across multiple major projects, sleeping badly, always saying yes. And then the body simply stopped cooperating. A breakdown that arrived without warning. Not drama. Not failure. Feedback. What resilience actually looked like The shift did not come from wellness slogans or better time management. It came from three grounded changes. 1. Capacity boundaries A clear rule. If something new comes in, something else must move out. Not because of weakness. Because leadership requires judgement about capacity, not endless commitment. 2. Progress over perfection Daily focus on what can realistically move forward. Two completed tasks is not underperformance. It is momentum. 3. Perspective under pressure A recurring reminder in difficult moments: “No one is going to die.” This is not dismissive. It is grounding. It brings leaders out of panic mode and back into proportion. The quiet truth about senior leadership At the top, pressure does not disappear. It simply becomes less visible. Strong leaders are not struggling because they lack resilience. They struggle when they are expected to absorb contradiction, manage everyone else’s comfort, and never acknowledge the cost. Leadership is not about being everything at once. It is about being clear enough to lead without erasing yourself. If this resonates, it is not because you are failing. It is because you are carrying more than most people see.
