Finding your way as a leader
Barbra Carlisle • June 13, 2025
Why Finding Your Style Matters More Than Ever
When I first stepped into a leadership role, I did what many of us do, I mirrored the leadership styles I had seen in action as a young professional.
I had seen Cathy Garner at the Housing Corporation back in the mid 90s invite me to a senior level meeting and me to reply "Why Cathy I don't have anything useful to say" and her saying "Barbra it is about being in the room. Come, it will not be a waste of your time". Brilliant advice.
I also sub consciously took in the directive leaders, the nice to face not quite so nice behind your back leaders and began to learn that leadership means different things to different people.
I also experienced leaders who manipulated and coerced me into positions that were simply not comfortable for a young female professional.
What I came to learn that I had to be naturally me as a leader. Yes I over share, yes I make light of things, yes I am a glass half full person. I worked on recognising when that style didn't bring the best out of the people around me and I flexed my style. Uncomfortable but definitely rewarding.
We all have it in our gift to ask "what kind of leader do I actually want to be?"
In today’s leadership landscape, especially in the charity and non-profit sector, authenticity isn’t just a nice-to-have — it’s essential. According to recent research from CIPD, only 26% of L&D leaders feel their organisations are truly receptive to their ideas. That disconnect often stems from leaders not feeling confident in their own voice, or unsure how to bring their full selves to the table. Or bringing their full selves without filters and being told they are too loud, too this or too that.
Why your leadership style matters
Your leadership style shapes how people experience you — and how they experience their work. When you lead in a way that aligns with your values and personality, you create psychological safety, trust, and clarity. When you lead in a way that feels performative or borrowed, it can create confusion or even mistrust. When you lead without any consideration of what it is like to be on the other side of you I am sorry to say you will fail. Because not everyone will work well with the natural you.
At Glee Coaching, I often work with new CEOs and senior leaders who are still figuring out what kind of leader they want to be. Some are navigating imposter syndrome. Others are trying to balance being approachable with being strategic. The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all model. But there is a way to lead that feels like you — and that’s where the real impact happens.
How to start finding your style
Observe, but don’t copy. Learn from others, but filter it through your own values and strengths.
Ask for feedback. Not just on performance, but on how people experience your leadership.
Try tools that build self-awareness. Programmes like Discover Your Leadership Voice (which I run monthly) help leaders understand their natural communication style and how to adapt it to others.
Reflect regularly. What’s working? What feels forced? What energises you?
Leadership isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room. It’s about being the clearest, most consistent version of yourself — and helping others do the same.
Get in touch if you want to chat about how you can find your own style of leadership that works for you and those around you.
Ideas and thoughts on how to lead well through complexity and change
The Intergenerational Advantage: Why Construction Firms Who Blend Ages Will Outperform Everyone Else
If you’re worried about not having enough young people, including women coming into construction, you’re asking the wrong question. The real risk is what happens when you don’t use the people you already have properly. The Crisis No One Is Solving Properly Across the UK, the construction workforce is ageing faster than it’s being replenished. There are 20% more workers aged 55+ than under 25. And it gets worse: 35% of the workforce is now over 50, and only 20% is under 30. Yes this presents an industry risk, but closer to home we see organisational risk. Leaders worry about recruitment, apprenticeships, T levels, Skills Bootcamps all useful, but none of them address the real issue: Experience is walking out of the door every single day, and new capability isn’t being integrated fast enough. This is exactly what my conversation with Colin McEllin MCIOB of Clan Contracting highlighted. When a 21 year old commercial graduate joined Clan Contracting, Colin didn’t roll his eyes or think, “another kid who’s never been on a site.” He leaned into it and welcomes thoughts, ideas and advice from 'young Aaron'. Massive benefits for him, and Aaron, and the wider team. Why Intergenerational Leadership Is Now a Strategic Priority The construction sector is staring at a workforce cliff edge: • 140,000+ vacancies lie unfilled. • By 2036, 750,000 skilled workers will retire, stripping the industry of vital capability. • The UK will need nearly 1 million additional construction workers by 2032. Yet recruitment alone isn’t enough. You cannot hire your way out of this crisis. We must integrate generations on purpose, not by accident. What Younger Workers Bring (That Leaders Ignore at Their Peril) Younger talent offers: • Modern thinking around sustainability and digital tooling • Analytical approaches and better documentation habits • A willingness to question processes that haven't been updated since the 90s • A commercial lens shaped by newer training systems In Colin’s words, their thinking “took him right back to when he was 21” eager, energetic, ideas driven. You want that energy before they lose it. What Older Workers Bring (That You Can’t Replace) Your experienced people have: • 30+ years of instinct • Pattern recognition that no textbook teaches • Quiet influence that stabilises teams • Technical fluency on heritage, concrete, structure, sequencing, conservation, problem solving These people are your institutional memory. Once they go, they’re gone. And currently, UK engineering employers admit they only retain knowledge effectively from 57% of retiring staff. That is a crisis hiding in plain sight. Leadership Actions That Works 1. Create deliberate two way mentoring (not hierarchical mentoring). Younger staff teach digital skills, new processes, sustainability thinking. Older staff teach technical judgment, site sense, risk spotting. Both feel valued. 2. Give young people actual responsibility, not token tasks. The CITB plans 40,000+ industry placements a year. It means nothing if leaders hide young people in the corner. Let them make decisions, with support. 3. Systemise knowledge transfer. You cannot afford to rely on “ask Dave if you need help.” You need processes, templates, technical walkthroughs, shared documentation. 4. Remove the “that’s not how we do it here” reflex. 76% of construction workers say current training doesn’t adequately prepare people for the job. So your way probably isn’t the best way anymore. Your Competitive Advantage Is Sitting Right Under Your Nose When generations work in isolation, capability leaks. When generations work together, capability compounds. The firms who win over the next decade won’t be the ones who grab the talent, it will be the ones who blend talent. Listen to the full episode of the podcast here or watch on You Tube here About me I write about topics that my podcast guests bring to the podcast. They have years of experience with challenges and opportunities along the way, highs and lows and are in the thick of leading with purpose and passion, faults an'all. As a coach and trainer I work with leaders and their times to help them thrive, laugh, enjoy their work, be productive and to build teams of all ages.
We love what we do so we grow in that role, we end up as leader with people around us but we want to stay doing the thing we love doing. Balancing leadership is hard.
