Setting up a business with Friends
Barbra Carlisle • April 16, 2025
Setting up business with a friend - a blessing or a curse?
Introduction
Starting a business with friends is thrilling. There is an overarching sense of relief that you don't have to do it alone -you can do it with your bestie! yay!
Fast forward 18 months, and the Yay! can turn into Nay!
Misaligned expectations, unspoken assumptions, and personality clashes often threaten what was once a shared vision. How can co-directors stay aligned—and stay friends?
The Research
The UK’s ScaleUp Institute (2022) found that the biggest internal challenge to scale-up growth isn’t funding or sales—it’s leadership alignment. Misalignment at the top leads to strategic drift, team confusion, and burnout.
The London Business School’s study on entrepreneurial team dynamics (Lechler & Ensley, 2021) highlights that psychological safety, clear communication, and complementary leadership styles are essential for co-founder success.
The Voice of Alignment
Most founder teams don’t fall apart because they disagree on what they want to build. It’s how they build it—how they make decisions, how they handle conflict, how they communicate under pressure.
One founder might lead with relentless vision, what I call the Pioneer perspective, while another is carefully evaluating risk (taking a Guardian perspective). One might want harmony above all else (Nurturer), and another thrives on energy and visibility (Connector). The key is not to flatten those differences, but to name and honour them.”
As a co-director of a brilliant social research agency Michael and I were super excited when we set out - we even got to take clients with us! Yay!
However our personalities and life stage were so so different that tensions started to arise.
- One of us wanted to renegotiate the agreed starting salary - one of us didn't
- One of us was a laissez faire leader, one of us wasn't
- One of us put our people first, one of us didn't
- One of us blended work with social life, the other just wanted to go home and be with their family
- One of us was single and footloose, one of us was married with responsibilities.
None of the above were unresolvable but we were unable to resolve due to lack of appreciation of each other, and pressures from around us. I wish I had sought out the support of a coach, I would have loved it if we had both had coaching before it was too late.
The Call
If you’re building something with someone you respect and care about, take the time to build how you build. A business plan is vital—but so is a relationship plan. Talk to one another about your needs and desires, and share your observations on how you think the relationship, not just the business is going.
Let’s ensure your founding team is aligned not just on the product, but on purpose, pace, and process.
If you want to run through your thoughts get in touch with me, I would love to be able to help you, and your friend, be totally awesome!
https://zcal.co/barbracarlisle/30min
There is no getting away from it we need to be agile and lead through change - it is constant!
Newsflash - Leading is not Managing! Why the Distinction Matters For years, many professionals, myself included, assumed that leadership and management were one and the same. After all, both involve guiding people and achieving goals. But in today’s dynamic and complex business environment, understanding the difference between leadership and management is essential. At Glee Coaching, we help individuals and organisations harness the power of both disciplines to drive performance, engagement, and long-term success. What Is Leadership? Leadership is about vision, influence, and transformation. It’s the ability to inspire others, create a compelling future, and guide people toward shared goals even in the face of uncertainty. As John C. Maxwell famously said, “Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less.” Leaders focus on: Setting direction rather than controlling outcomes Inspiring trust rather than demanding compliance Fostering innovation rather than maintaining the status quo Research from Harvard Business Review highlights that the best leaders are those who can move beyond titles and focus on action engaging in behaviours that inspire, align, and mobilise others. These leaders are not just visionaries; they are catalysts for change. What Is Management? Management, on the other hand, is about structure, execution, and consistency. It ensures that systems run smoothly, resources are used efficiently, and objectives are met on time and within budget. Peter Drucker, the father of modern management, once said: “Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” Managers excel at: Planning and organising Monitoring performance Solving problems and mitigating risks Gallup showed that managers are the single biggest factor in employee engagement, accounting for up to 70% of the variance in team engagement levels. This means that effective management isn’t just operational it is foundational to team morale and productivity. Leadership vs. Management: A Strategic Balance Rather than viewing leadership and management as opposing forces, I tend to think of them as complementary disciplines. The most effective professionals know when to lead and when to manage. A helpful rule of thumb I use is that Leaders should be 80% strategic and 20% tactical while Managers should be 80% tactical and 20% strategic. This balance is echoed in a 15-year study by HBR contributor James R. Bailey, who found that the most successful executives blend both leadership and management behaviours adapting fluidly to the needs of their teams and organisations. Issues that my coaching clients bring tend to be around the perceived need of leaders to sit in the transactional tactical doer space. Why You Need Both in Today’s Workplace In a world of hybrid teams, rapid innovation, and constant change, organisations need people who can: Lead with purpose and authenticity Build high-performing, collaborative teams Manage complexity with confidence and agility Gallup’s global engagement data shows that when managers are disengaged, team performance suffers dramatically. Conversely, when leaders are purpose-driven and aligned with their values, they inspire greater commitment and resilience across the organisation. If you're curious about how coaching can support this development, explore our What Is Coaching page . How Glee Coaching Can Help At Glee Coaching, we offer tailored leadership and management development programmes that help you: Discover your authentic leadership style Strengthen your management toolkit Navigate the transition from manager to leader (or vice versa) Build confidence, clarity, and capability Whether you're stepping into your first leadership role or refining your executive presence, we are here to support your journey. Call to Action Ready to explore your leadership potential or refine your management style? 👉 Visit our programmes to discover programmes designed for impact or call Barbra
