Being a Leader isn't easy

Barbra Carlisle • February 24, 2023

Supporting yourself and others

There is no instruction manual on being a leader. The way you think, act and behave needs to attract people to you. You need to know yourself and be able to read other people. How do you develop impact as a leader and who supports you?

Common leadership dilemmas where offering a space to think has helped include:

  

  • Entrepreneurs with growing businesses who are unsure how to best lead their growing team and keep everyone happy and engaged


  • Business owners who realize that the management style they adopted as a startup isn’t working that well as the business evolves, recognizing they need to evolve as leaders


  • People curious as to what more they can do to have an impact, and how their personality traits, values and strengths influence how they show up

 

Research shows that cascading solutions onto others is less effective than enabling people to think and create their own solutions. My life as a coach began when colleagues and friends began seeking me for advice on how to manage others, how to influence, how to get a better work-life balance and how to live their values. As Director of Equality, Diversity and Inclusion in the construction sector, I learned that people want to be empowered to make their own choices and forge their own path, they don’t need ‘saving’!

 

I don’t have time!

Giving people the time and safe space to think is a passion of mine. My favourite moments in coaching are when people ‘suddenly get it’. They have thought about a problem and can see a solution or an alternative path. When teamwork has led to creative thinking and new ideas – you can feel the vibrancy and passion in the room.

Interestingly, more and more leaders are working with a coach for fresh perspectives and to challenge their own thinking. Time to think is not always comfortable, but often leads to significant personal & business growth. It takes courage and curiosity to focus on yourself when there are fires to put out, clients to please, financial targets to reach and employees to manage. Giving time for personal development may seem like a luxury. It isn’t and shouldn’t be.

 

My people & clients come first

Great leaders want their people to grow, often prioritising the learning and development of their employees over their own. When budgets are tight, isn’t it prudent to train your best people to make sure they stay? Indeed it is, but to maximise leadership impact proactive leaders invest in their own development and wellbeing.

 

I am unique

Personal growth and development are just that: personal. Time you give to personal development needs to be worthwhile, and something that actively influences your thinking, actions and behaviours well after the training event is over.


Impactful learning can include:

  •         Personal Development:            personality trait work, one to one coaching.
  •         Team Development:                 action learning, team coaching, design thinking.
  •         Business Development:             strategic planning, bespoke learning modules 
  •         Community Impact:                 connecting investment in learning with community benefits aligning personal vision to community prosperity and wellbeing.



Strengths and values

Most people set up their businesses based on personal core values, values often held since childhood.  Similarly, employees seek out employers where business and personal values match. My business embraces my values of:

·        Authenticity

·        Creativity

·        Uniqueness and

·        Community.

 

Throughout my own career, including roles as a public sector strategist, charity campaigner, local authority researcher and global corporate director of social impact and diversity, equity, inclusion and belonging, integrating my values around empowerment for social good has been central.

It’s personal

I believe that following your true passion is the root to contentment. It isn’t easy as you see people appearing more successful, more confident, more dynamic. Coaching was a natural step for me, but it still took courage to set up a business. I have done time on the HR circuit, I have gained valuable coaching accreditations and I am comfortable that I have made a positive contributed to societal and business benefit throughout my career. I ensure I surround myself with people who can support and challenge me, including a coach or two!

I am always open to connecting with people who want to make a bigger impact, people responsible for the growth and wellbeing of others, and those who are curious to know more about how to lead with impact. Having someone in your corner who is there to listen, encourage and nurture your thinking can have a significant impact on how you show up every day.

For more insight on leading with impact and the potential power of coaching visit www.gleecoaching.co.uk



By Barbra Carlisle June 13, 2025
When I first stepped into a leadership role, I did what many of us do, I mirrored the leadership styles I had seen in action as a young professional. I had seen Cathy Garner at the Housing Corporation back in the mid 90s invite me to a senior level meeting and me to reply "Why Cathy I don't have anything useful to say" and her saying "Barbra it is about being in the room. Come, it will not be a waste of your time". Brilliant advice. I also sub consciously took in the directive leaders, the nice to face not quite so nice behind your back leaders and began to learn that leadership means different things to different people. I also experienced leaders who manipulated and coerced me into positions that were simply not comfortable for a young female professional. What I came to learn that I had to be naturally me as a leader. Yes I over share, yes I make light of things, yes I am a glass half full person. I worked on recognising when that style didn't bring the best out of the people around me and I flexed my style. Uncomfortable but definitely rewarding. We all have it in our gift to ask "what kind of leader do I actually want to be?" In today’s leadership landscape, especially in the charity and non-profit sector, authenticity isn’t just a nice-to-have — it’s essential. According to recent research from CIPD, only 26% of L&D leaders feel their organisations are truly receptive to their ideas. That disconnect often stems from leaders not feeling confident in their own voice, or unsure how to bring their full selves to the table. Or bringing their full selves without filters and being told they are too loud, too this or too that. Why your leadership style matters Your leadership style shapes how people experience you — and how they experience their work. When you lead in a way that aligns with your values and personality, you create psychological safety, trust, and clarity. When you lead in a way that feels performative or borrowed, it can create confusion or even mistrust. When you lead without any consideration of what it is like to be on the other side of you I am sorry to say you will fail. Because not everyone will work well with the natural you. At Glee Coaching, I often work with new CEOs and senior leaders who are still figuring out what kind of leader they want to be. Some are navigating imposter syndrome. Others are trying to balance being approachable with being strategic. The truth is, there’s no one-size-fits-all model. But there is a way to lead that feels like you — and that’s where the real impact happens. How to start finding your style Observe, but don’t copy. Learn from others, but filter it through your own values and strengths. Ask for feedback. Not just on performance, but on how people experience your leadership. Try tools that build self-awareness. Programmes like Discover Your Leadership Voice (which I run monthly) help leaders understand their natural communication style and how to adapt it to others. Reflect regularly. What’s working? What feels forced? What energises you? Leadership isn’t about being the loudest voice in the room. It’s about being the clearest, most consistent version of yourself — and helping others do the same. Get in touch if you want to chat about how you can find your own style of leadership that works for you and those around you.
By Barbra Carlisle June 13, 2025
“I learnt a lot by going in and making the cups of tea, and hoovering up for them.” That quote came from Alan Adams, General Manager of Southport Flower Show and a guest on my podcast *The Unlikely Executive*. It stuck with me, not because it was about tea or hoovers ( though I do like the former, the latter less so), but because it captured something about a certain type of leadership: the insight that comes from experiencing all aspects of the organisation. I believe this links to leader empathy. In the charity sector, I have met three broad types of leaders 1. those who have 'worked' their way up 2. those who have pivoted from private to third sector and entered at a senior level (more about them in a later newsletter article) 3. those who have almost been pushed into leadership through personal circumstance (for example those who set up charities on the back of a personal trauma - again I will post about this at a later date) Today I want to focus on those who have worked their way up. They’ve been on the frontlines, run community events, answered helpline calls. That experience gives them a deep understanding of the people they serve and the teams they lead. But what if you didn’t start there? What if you came into leadership from another sector, or stepped into a senior role early in your career? Does that mean you’re missing something? Not necessarily. But it does mean you need to be intentional about how you connect with the frontline. Why it matters Leaders who understand the day-to-day realities of their teams make better decisions. They build more trust. They’re more likely to spot issues early and respond with empathy. In a recent People Management report, 41% of UK businesses now see learning and development as central to their strategy. That includes developing leaders who can connect across levels — not just manage from the top. How to build that connection (even if you didn’t start at the bottom) Spend time with your team. Not just in meetings, but in their world. Sit in on calls. Visit service sites. Ask questions. Listen without fixing. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is listen without jumping in with a solution. Be curious, not performative. People can tell when you’re ticking a box. Show genuine interest in their work and challenges. Share your own learning curve. Vulnerability builds trust. If you’re learning, say so. - my own personal favourite - have a work experience week - where you do a role that you have never tried before and take advice and guidance from the current postholder. At Glee, I work with leaders who want to lead with more empathy and impact — whether they started on the frontlines or not. What matters most is your willingness to understand, adapt, and grow. Because leadership isn’t about where you started. It’s about how you show up now.
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